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It was so cringe.
I haven’t gone to a drag show in a while, but the most recent one I went to left me feeling uncomfortable. I was out with a friend who wanted to have a fun night out so my first thought was a drag show. Think high-energy lip syncing by larger than life artists and everyone in the crowd feeding off of that vibe. It was gonna be a hit. Fast forward to a late night queer space, there was a drag queen who had asked. “Where are all my queers at?” On cue, I along with a small group in the corner of the room and a few individuals that were dispersed screamed our heads off with excitement. In that moment, it seemed that less than a quarter of the space was occupied by people of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. It was confirmed when the drag queen then asked, “Okay, then where all my heterosexual allies at?”. The main floor erupted with applause and cheers that was palpable.
Now, don’t get me wrong. allies are important people to have for those in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. However, there were things that I saw… I just couldn’t understand why they were happening. My friend and I ended up leaving part way through after talking to one of the staff about it. A drag show is a safe space. It’s a place where people come together to have fun, sing like it’s no one’s business, dance the day away and drink responsibly. If you are an ally or queer person choosing to enter this safe space, it’s important to remember the idea of “safe space” applies to everyone including the drag performers. So if you plan on going to a drag show, check out some of these nuggets (based on recent observations) to keep drag shows a safe space for everyone.
1. Do not touch that which is not yours.
If you bought a drink, drink your drink. If you want to check your phone for the time, you do you. If you are looking to see if you got some bills to tip the drag performer, by all means look away. However, when it comes to the special guest stars of the show, keep your hands to yourself unless you are given express permission to touch them. They will do so with words and non-verbal communication such as, “Yes” or “No” OR they will shake their head.
2. Do not leave any personal items in the performance area(s).
Regardless of whether there is a stage or it’s the whole floor, do not leave any personal or acquired items somewhere that could potentially be a tripping hazard. Safety first!
3. Do not talk over the drag performer.
There will be a lot of moments where you can belt that classic romantic ballad at the top of your lungs, applaud a trick with every fibre of your being and sing to a nostalgic throwback hit. There will also be a lot of moments in between the performance numbers where the drag performer will talk with the audience and try to engage. This includes asking where people are from, what brought them to the show, what song they want to hear next, etc. However, if it is VERY clear that they are not specifically talking to you, don’t call out just to hear your own voice.
4. Do not tip while someone else is tipping.
One of the ways people can support drag performers is by tipping them with bills during their performances. You do this by going to the performance boundary and stretching your hand up with the bill so that the drag performer can see it. Shaking the bill vigorously in their direction is not necessary. Then the drag performer will come to you and thank you for the tip by either grabbing it or asking you to put it somewhere within their outfit. This process can become a little bit challenging when more than one person wants to tip at the same time. So do wait until it is your turn.
5. Do not put money in your mouth or clothes for the drag performer to retrieve it.
Though it may seem like a fun video memory to have… just don’t. It’s not clean. You can’t guarantee that the money you have and the clothes you are wearing are free from germs. So do keep your hands clean (by performing hand hygiene with soap and water OR hand sanitizer) and just raise your hand with the bill of your choice.
6. Do not crowd the ‘tipping area’.
It can get quite crowded very quickly. For this reason, you may feel compelled to take up space in the ‘tipping area’. This is more prevalent in places with a stage. It’s the immediate area outside of where the drag performer performs. For example, if we look at a stage, it would be the space right beside the stage. It’s good to keep this space as open as possible so that it is easier for people who want to tip can tip with ease.