The thoughts and feelings shared on this blog are my own. They do not represent the views of any affiliated parties. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring. The information provided are for entertainment and general informational purposes only. It does not constitute as professional advice. Do your own research and consult with the appropriate legal person(s) and organization(s) as required.
“What’s your type?”, I asked.
She said in a very matter of fact tone, “A person of colour”. We were walking around a park going through the usual small talk, and when she said this… I looked at her so confused. The usual answer most people give are funny, smart, ambitious, kind, attractive — very safe answers. This was not necessarily… an unsafe answer, but it was definitely different from the usual. “That narrows it down.” I said in a very sarcastic tone. When I asked her if there was anything else, she said there was nothing in particular that she wanted and said that she was fairly open to anyone as long as they were a person of colour. Although I have asked this question many times before to friends and potential love interests, I had never been more motivated to figure out someone’s type more than at that moment.
Even though some people may think of asking a person’s type to be a superficial topic, I think that this kind of conversation is an easy way to get to know someone depending on the follow-up questions asked. The conversation can stay very light and fun, but it can also go very deep and intimate. I admit that there have been quite a few times where I have been called out that it can feel like an interview or an interrogation. However, I think it really just depends on the responses and if the person being asked is curious enough to also know the point of view of the one asking.
So if you are also a naturally nosy person and are open to getting to know what turns a person on or off, trying asking someone any of the questions below that I have asked at some point or another following the question, “What’s your type?”.
Physical Appearance
- What is the first thing you look at a person you are attracted to?
- Do you care about height?
- Does size matter?
- What do you think about muscles?
- What body shapes are you attracted to?
- Does the length of a person’s hair affect how attracted you are to them?
- How much body hair is too much body hair?
- What are your thoughts on facial hair?
- Does body acne turn you off?
- How much make-up is too much make-up?
- Are glasses a turn-on or turn-off?
- What are your thoughts on braces?
- What do you think about body modifications (ex. tongue splitting, horn implants)?
- What do you think about tattoos?
- What do you think about piercings?
- What do you think about plastic surgery and fillers?
- What are your thoughts on coloured hair?
- How do you feel about long finger nails versus long toe nails?
- What clothes would a person you are attracted to be wearing every day outside of the house?
Demographic
- What is the youngest age you would date?
- What is the oldest age you would date?
- Are you open to people who are cisgender and a-cisgender?
- Would you date a person of the same ethnic background?
- Would you date a person different from your ethnic background?
- How do you feel about a person being fluent in more than one language?
- How would you feel if the person made more money than you?
- How would you feel if the person made less money than you?
- How do you feel about a person who is in school or plans on going to school?
- Are there any occupations that would have a negative impact on your view of them if that was their full-time job?
- Would you be able to see someone if they lived far from you (ex. different parts of the same country, another part of the world)?
- How would you feel if the person is living with other person(s) (ex. roommate, friends, family, etc.)?
- How do you feel about kids?
- How do you feel about pets?
Values & Beliefs
- Is religion important?
- Is spirituality important?
- Would the person you are interested in have to have a similar political view as you?
- How frequently would you hope to text or call with the person you are interested in?
- How do you feel about drugs being used recreationally?
- How do you feel about drugs being used socially?
- Do you like PDA (public displays of affection)?
- What kind of humour do they have to have to make you genuinely laugh?
- Who is responsible for paying when you are going out on dates?
- What thing would the other person do or say that would instantly turn you off on the first date?
- Do you like deep talk?
- What are your thoughts on dating someone who is an introvert, an ambivert or an extrovert?
- What pet peeves would you not be able to tolerate?
Future Planning
- Is marriage important to you?
- Would you live with the person before getting legally married?
- Are you open to being with more than one person at a time?
- Do you want someone who wants kids?
- Would you sleep in the same bed or have your own respective bedrooms?
- If you and the person you are with has dependents (ex. kids, aging parents), how would you hope to manage that?
- Who is responsible for household chores (ex. cooking, cleaning, laundry, garbage, groceries)?
- When would you want to retire together?
- Where would you want to retire together?